Friday, January 09, 2009

The Timothy Plan

The Timothy Plan family of funds conducts proprietary research on publically traded companies based on their moral integrity. We then apply that information to maintain a "Do Not Buy List" for our family of morally responsible mutual funds.

This is a "company" that goes thru and rates video games and other content for what they consider to be anti-Christian themes and creates this list so you dont have to think about why something is being banned, you can just blindly trust and obey.

I went thru the whole list, which can be found here. And I found this little gem from their review of Army of Two:

Gay & Lesbian: Homosexual Themes: Although never spoken of, undertones of homosexuality are present. Weaponry in the game can be decorated to be anything from diamond encrusted to gold plated. You share a parachute with your partner, and the riot shield system allows one player to use a shield or car door as portable cover while the other cuddles up close behind and dispenses "lead" from his "iron".

Wow, just ... wow.


  1. I would love to comment on this, but I am too busy shitting in your spiderman thread.

  2. And back away while facing the couple, do not turn and run. And don't make eye contact either! Hehehe

  3. Gay satire is funny.

    I've never seen these series of videos before, but they're quite amusing. Well, some of them are at least.

  4. Looks like he's going to slip him the old salami. Maybe going to put the hotdog in the bun. Maybe taking the old log to the brown beaver. Maybe gonna bury his bone-r. Maybe a ride on the wild baloney pony. Maybe the sergeant is gonna play the bone flute. Maybe give him some "Hot Steamy Lead" from the love gun.