Friday, June 20, 2008

Words of Wisdom in 30 minutes or less

A very good friend of mine is starting a job delivering pizza and I wish her the best of luck. I delivered Pizza for a few years for the local Pizza Hut and Little Caesars. It was the second most best job I had. It was so much fun. Here's some tips:
  1. Never give change in $5 bills. Change them all into $1's when you can. The more $1's you give the better the chance you'll get multiple $1's back as a tip. You'll very rarely see that $5 back.
  2. Work all the Friday and Saturday hours you can. You'll always be out on deliveries, the time goes fast and the money racks up fast.
  3. Get used to your car smelling of pizza for days on end. Dont try to over power it with air fresheners, just deal with it. Otherwise your car will smell like New Car and Meat Lovers Pizza which is even worse.
  4. DONT tell your car insurance you are delivering pizza.
  5. Learn how to change your own oil and change it every 1500 to 2000 miles or every month and a half. The work is VERY hard on your card.
  6. Get an MP3 player that hooks into your car or a deck that plays MP3 CD's. Point is cram as much music as you possibly can in your car. You're going to need the music.
  7. Keep a small but STRONG flashlight in your car to shine up onto people's houses. Not only will it help you find house numbers, but it will make you look like a cop to people who look quickly (especially if you make siren noises with your mouth while doing it).
  8. If the house looks weird, DONT go to the door. Trust your gut. And in the event of someone doing something, throw them the pizza and the money bag and bolt.
  9. Buy real gas. Dont go for the cheap Walmart gas or smaller chain gas stations. Also use some fuel injector cleaner.
  10. You cant carry an umbrella and a pizza, so dont bother. You'll get wet, but the wetter you get normally the tips go up.
  11. Smile, have fun. It's really a great job.
  12. If you dont have a good memory, start writing down good tippers. Remember the last name or the addresses. Most people get deliveries a lot and you'll find you're favorites fast and rack up the bucks.
  13. Leave your car running and get used to putting on your parking brake. It's easy to forget putting the car in Park when you're in a hurry and chasing your car down the street would suck.
  14. Put a thin dish towel under the magnetic sign toppers so the magnetic disks on them wont scratch your paint.
  15. Double check your order before leaving the building. Dont forget the extra stuff for the order, the people bagging them up for you dont really care since they dont get your tips.
  16. Put your check in the bank and live off your tips for your little day-to-day needs.
Okay I think that's it.

1 comment:

  1. Hey that was pretty interesting, oh connoisseur of the pizza transport!

    There was a guy that I went to college with that delivered pizzas for a living. I kinda thought it sounded like a sucky job until he went through his procedures for an illustration where we setup a flowchart for a logical process that is somehow related to our job. Sounded like a kinda neat gig...

    Wow, that was a really crazy run-on sentence I think.