Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Ohio Revised Code 3768.01, 3768.02, and 3768.03

Yay more bullshit from the state government I bring you Senate bill number 16 for this session:

All sexually oriented businesses must close at midnight and not open before 6am.

No nude or seminude employee can do the following:
  • Stand closer than 6 feet to any patron and be no lower than 2 feet off the ground.
  • Touch any patron (sorry Sarah "6 foot arms" Jones your stripping career is over).
  • While in the view of any patron touch any other employee who is nude or seminude.
  • If you are a patron of a strip club, you are also not allowed to touch anymore - including skin, hair, clothes and costumes. Fuck there goes my trips to see that stripper dressed up like Mr. Peanut.
Here's a nice definition from the bill:

"Seminude" or "state of seminudity" means the showing of the female breast below a horizontal line across the top of the areola and extending across the top of the areola and extending across the width of the breast at that point, or the showing of the male or female buttocks. This definition shall include the lower portion of the human female breast, but shall not include any portion of the cleavage of the human female breasts exhibited by a bikini, dress, blouse, shirt, leotard, or similar wearing apparel provided the areola is not exposed in whole or in part.

So tits are bad, but cleavage is still acceptable. Those goddamn nipples are ruining this great nation I tell ya!

What a load of shit this bill is - I dont think it's officially a law yet until the Govenor signs it, so maybe there's still hope for me to touch Mr. Peanut's anus while I look at his nipples in a public establishment.

Link to the bullshit.

No comments:

Post a Comment