Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Rich White Mother Fuckers

For all of those people who think it's beyond imagination that the US government might have ever even had the remote thought about helping out or being behind or turning a blind eye to something like 9/11, I present to you Operation Northwoods.

And if you think I am or want to call me "unpatriotic" feel free to save your comment and just blow me.

Why is this news?

Child found hanging but still alive
Dead bodies of 3 other kids, one adult discovered in Texas mobile home


Updated: 38 minutes ago

HUDSON OAKS, Texas - A child was found hanging but still alive at a mobile home early Tuesday, with the dead bodies of three other children and an adult nearby, authorities said.

Parker County Sheriff Larry Fowler said the survivor was taken to Cook Children’s Medical Center in Fort Worth. There was no immediate word on the child’s condition.

Fowler had no further details but said a statement would be issued later in the day.

The bodies were found early Tuesday at the Oak Hills mobile home park, about 25 miles west of Fort Worth near Weatherford.

© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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Why exactly is this news? I dont get it. There is like zero info here. Why not just wait until you have more information and then release this news? It's like there's a rush to gore in the news. "Oh look someone stuck their 6 kids in a microwave and drove it into a lake - print that shit now!". Cant we just have a default daily news article that says, "Some people died today somewhere". The article almost writes itself. And then when you actually have, oh I dont know - DETAILS - then you can talk about what happened.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wounded Knee

Okay so it's not really my knee it's up on my thigh. This past weekend I was working on putting a new stereo in my car. While trimming some of the plastic from the bracket I noticed my utility knife was dulling, so I changed the blade. I then sat the piece of plastic on my lap to get the blade started into it. The plastic was really dense and so I was pushing very hard and then SLIP and bang right into my thigh.

At first I thought my hand had rotated and I had just punched the very top of my thigh because it felt like an instant Charley horse. But then I noticed a perfect cut thru my jeans. While examining that -blam- blood everywhere around the cut. I thought, "Crap I nicked myself." However as I tried to stand I realized, by the burning ripping sensation in my thigh, that it was a lot worse than a nick.

I hobbled to the bathroom and examined my injury, it was a perfect stab right into my thigh. About an 1.5 inches wide and about 1.5 inches deep. So that's what my thigh muscle looks like!

I was going to super glue it shut, but with it being into the muscle I thought I better go get it stitched. So off I went to the ER. Our local hospital just re-modeled the ER and now it looks like you are entering a hotel. The lady at the desk didnt seemed concerned about my blood covered lap while she joked with the mother signing her two (non-bloody and fully functioning) little kids in. Then she called me to the desk and asked me 2 different times if I did this at work and took all my info and didnt ask me anything about the wound. I could have been shot for all she knew.

She told me that I was to go to triage and asked if I was dizzy. I think because she would wheelchair me the full 3 feet to where the triage room (closet) was. In the triage nook a nurse came in and the first question was, "Did this happen at work?" ... *sigh*. After explaning the situation she didnt look at the wound but proceeded to take my blood pressure, listen to my chest and take my temperature. I guess incase I had that rare Amazon disease that makes you stab yourself on accident.

After my triaging she led me to the room where the real medical stuff happens, or I was left to assume from her apathetic, "follow me". So on I limped, down the hall, around the corner down this hall, thru the doors and farther down the hall. I limped past at least 10 completely empty full equipped rooms - anyone of which my bloody leg could have been stitched in, but she's the nurse so I guess it's good to exercise a recently cut muscle.

The guy I thought was a doctor was really nice. Turns out he was just an assistant as the main doctor is too busy carrying his clipboard around making 10 times more money to say medical jargon like, "Hmm that looks like a nasty cut." and "Did you do this at work?" and "Okay that stitch looks good." I guess I should mention the stitching-guy also asked me twice if I did this at work. I mean I know they are all about the workman's comp shit, but for fuck sake I was asked at least 10 times by 4 different people all filling out different forms. You'd think that one of those forms would have a big check box on it for "DID NOT HAPPEN AT WORK STOP ASKING THE POOR SCHMUCK!".

So I am all stitched up now and have to go easy on my leg for about 2 weeks. Yeah right - my training for the summer Olympics continues on unabated - fuck you cut muscle. Actually I'm fine, just gotta make sure I dont rip out the stitches - free to live a life or religious fulfillment.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Farewell to Falwell

My friend asked me last night on XBL if I had a chance to blog about the death of Jerry Falwell and my opinion on the man and his life.

Well if you know me you can already assume how I felt about Falwell and you'd more than likely be right.

And sitting here, I dont think I could go off on a diatribe that could be expressed any better than the thoughts of Christopher Hitchens on Anderson Cooper 360:



And here's his follow-up on Fox News' Hannity and Colmes:



But with all that being said, and I do 100% agree with Christopher Hitchens on many of his points, I still feel the need to say goodbye in my own way, so here it is:

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Reasons to hide under the covers ...

Reason 1: United States Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is trying to push that it's illegal even if you ATTEMPT to infringe on or pirate copyrighted material. Specifically music, since under this new push the Department of Homeland Security must give their findings over to the RIAA. Oh and you could be sentenced to life in prison.

Reason 2: You probably already are a terrorist. With the rush into the War on Terror, no one stopped to try to define what a terrorist actually is. However I dont think it's the immediacy that lent to us skipping over that bit as much as it is nearly impossible to specific label what a "terrorist" is. Well now the FBI and some states have their own meanings, and you are probably on their list.

Reason 3: Karl Rove is using the office of the President of the United States to subvert justice right here at home. But as Gonzales concedes now (now that he can apparently remember again) that his former Deputy was the real guy that was to blame.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Poop Bet 2007

The Second Annual Poop Bet 2007 is off and running!
(since noon on 5/8)

For those unfamiliar the "Poop Bet" is a gentleman's bet amongst anyone who wants to join (normally just from work). The objective is to hold onto your poop. The last one to poop wins!

2007 Participants:

Andy "Constipation" Langenkamp
Jeremy "I Eat Cheese" Nevarez
Cory "Cork-in-the-ass" Lykins

And last year's Champion:

Michael "What's a Toilet?" Wulfhorst!

It's an all out battle of the wills as these titans of the toilet collide head on in POOP BET 2007! Who will be the first to take the flush of shame? Can Andy better his spot from last year without sucumbing to a disaterous skidmark into loserville? Can Wulf pull out another amazing upset?

All the drama, all the passion, all the spectacle...
POOP BET 2007!!!

Choke on that Europe!

BONN, Germany (Reuters) - U.S. and Russian greenhouse gas emissions rose in 2005, more than cancelling out a dip in the European Union's emissions despite growing calls to limit global warming, official data shows.

A report by U.N. climate panel last week said the world was running out of time to make the deep cuts needed to combat global warming, which could bring widening droughts, heatwaves, floods, spread disease and push up world sea levels.

It said world emissions would have to peak by 2015 and fall by 50 to 85 percent by 2050 to reach a goal of limiting temperature rises to 2 to 2.4 Celsius (3.6 to 8.6 Fahrenheit) above pre-industrial levels.

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Just goes to show with a little determination and good old American spirit we can beat the pants off of anyone! Oh wait, this is really bad news. Oh boy. I was hoping we were just winning at something! When are the Olympics?

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Word Up!


Today is my last class for the semester and then I am off for the whole summer! Woohoo. Tonight's not even really a class but a one-on-one with the (hot) art teacher for a final critique of all my work done in the class. It's only a half hour and then I'm all done.

Hopefully when I get back in the fall, Edison will have their horrible parking shit figured out.

Driving at night sucks with my contact out too, so I'm glad this will be the last night trip for awhile. I took my contact out last week when my eye started rejecting it again and I've left it out. I have to leave it out 3 weeks prior to my surgery and in about 3 weeks I should know if the insurance has approved it, so I'll be all set to go when they are ready and not have to wait another 3 weeks. So about 3 more weeks of partial blindness, dizziness and headaches to go. Woo!

I think I'll stop by the shop and Sidney and talk over more of my chest piece and get that all done. Then onto my arm wrap piece on my left arm. I'm excited about that. Tired of having half finished work on me for now.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Spiderman 3 Super Duper money maker?

In a larger town near me (Lima) they are showing Spiderman 3 18 times a day starting at 9:15 in the morning.

Lima's Population: 40,081
Average seating of a theater: 150
Show times per day: 18

If everyone who lived in Lima went it would take the theater 14.844 days to show every man, woman and child in Lima the movie one time.

And at an average of 7.50 per ticket, it would garner the theater $300,607.50

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Orange

Orange is both a noun and an adjective in the English language. In both cases, it refers primarily to the orange fruit and the colour orange, but has many other derivative meanings.

Before the English-speaking world was exposed to the fruit, the colour was referred to as geoluhread in Old English, which translates roughly into Modern English as yellow-red.

Orange derives from Sanskrit nāraṅgaḥ "orange tree", with borrowings through Persian nārang, Arabic nāranj, Spanish naranja, Late Latin arangia, Italian arancia or arancio, and Old French orenge, in chronological order. The first appearance in English dates from the 14th century. The name of the colour is derived from the fruit, first appearing in this sense in the 16th century.

It is widely accepted that no single English word is a true rhyme for orange, though there are half rhymes such as lozenge or flange.[2] The phrase door hinge rhymes with orange in some dialects. Although sporange, a variant of sporangium, is an eye rhyme for orange, it is not a true rhyme as its second syllable is pronounced with an unreduced vowel [-ændʒ], and often with stress.

However, there are proper nouns which are true rhymes, including Blorenge, a hill in Wales, and Gorringe, a surname. US Naval Commander Henry Honychurch Gorringe, the captain of the USS Gettysburg who discovered Gorringe Ridge in 1875.

Orange: Wikipedia

Ohio Revised Code 3768.01, 3768.02, and 3768.03

Yay more bullshit from the state government I bring you Senate bill number 16 for this session:

All sexually oriented businesses must close at midnight and not open before 6am.

No nude or seminude employee can do the following:
  • Stand closer than 6 feet to any patron and be no lower than 2 feet off the ground.
  • Touch any patron (sorry Sarah "6 foot arms" Jones your stripping career is over).
  • While in the view of any patron touch any other employee who is nude or seminude.
  • If you are a patron of a strip club, you are also not allowed to touch anymore - including skin, hair, clothes and costumes. Fuck there goes my trips to see that stripper dressed up like Mr. Peanut.
Here's a nice definition from the bill:

"Seminude" or "state of seminudity" means the showing of the female breast below a horizontal line across the top of the areola and extending across the top of the areola and extending across the width of the breast at that point, or the showing of the male or female buttocks. This definition shall include the lower portion of the human female breast, but shall not include any portion of the cleavage of the human female breasts exhibited by a bikini, dress, blouse, shirt, leotard, or similar wearing apparel provided the areola is not exposed in whole or in part.

So tits are bad, but cleavage is still acceptable. Those goddamn nipples are ruining this great nation I tell ya!

What a load of shit this bill is - I dont think it's officially a law yet until the Govenor signs it, so maybe there's still hope for me to touch Mr. Peanut's anus while I look at his nipples in a public establishment.

Link to the bullshit.

And it's officially over.

My diet has officially ended 24 hours later. What a miserable failure it was.

I went too gung-ho too quick and now I feel like total shit. I had to force myself to eat by the time I got home from the Y. I was hungry but my stomach was all shrunk up and I knew only one chicken breast wouldnt sustain me.

All in all yesterday I only ate 1000 calories total. I need at least 3200 a day (with exercise) to lose weight in a healthy way. 3900 calories (with exercise) to maintain my weight.

I feel like absolute shit today and have no energy and shopping last night for food sucked. It's hard enough finding food to eat for one person, but trying to find healthy food for one person is damn near impossible.

So the diet is over - sort of. I think I am just going to switch to all diet pop. I drink about 4 to 5 Mountain Dews a day, and at 300 calories each that's enough to help me lose some weight if I keep eating how I normally do (which wasnt that much to begin with).