Dear Ass Pimple,
I am writing you this letter to you as all other forms of contacting you have gone without response and as a way to enumerate my various issues I am experiencing as a direct result of your existence.
I am not sure where you came from or why you decided to make your home right on the epicenter of where all my seated weight rests, but I despise you.
You are a rascally one too, you are just out of reach for popping. I can touch you sure, but I am unable to contort myself into a proper pincer movement to destroy you.
Hence my letter. I am formally asking you to leave my hither-to-now unblemished ass and not return. Upon your leaving I will pay you the lump sum of 37 cents. This being an enormous amount for any zit.
Thank you for your time,