Monday, February 26, 2007

Enough with the war already!

Yet another reason why I hate Fox News and everyone that works there all the way down to the people that clean up the place after everyone goes home. What they're open 24 hours? Oh, well I hate that too.

In a recent attempt to justify his own overzealous and extreme coverage of Anna Nicole's death AND to take a cheap shot at other journalists who are still covering the WAR, Fox News host John Gibson had the following to say on his radio show on Friday:

GIBSON: Now I submit to you that that is a real, honest-to-God drama. Now it may not fit the high-minded views of a lot of news professionals, people who think that their news program is just another part of Foreign Affairs Quarterly. That only a certain kind of news is worthy of their discussing. Those people are snobs. They’re people who, when they see a story, go, “Ew, icky. I don’t want to do that.” I did this for years. I’ve been doing a long time. I’ve approached many stories and said, “That story isn’t worth our trouble.” It has always been a mistake. Always. Every single time I did it. So when I see people like this guy —

[CLIP ANDERSON COOPER] There’s a war on, there’s a war on, there’s a war on.

GIBSON: Oh, there’s a war on, there’s a war on. Maybe, just maybe, people are a little weary, Mr. Cooper, of your war coverage, and they’d like a little something else. Maybe that’s why they all thundered to this story.

[CLIP ANDERSON COOPER] There’s a war on, there’s a war on, there’s a war on.

GIBSON: My complaint about this is what you’re listening to when you hear that guy lecture the audience, is you’re listening to news-guy snobbery. Essentially saying, “I’m better than you. I know what you want to hear about, but I’m better than that story. I’m too high class for that story. I won’t stoop to what you want to hear about.”

I’m not playing that. People want to hear about the Anna Nicole story, I’m happy to tell them.

Oh John, I'm glad we have YOU to defend us against "news-guy snobbery". Hell if we didn't have you and your friends at Fox, we wouldn't know what to think or how to act. We wouldn't even have known we were victims of snobbery to begin with!

And remember Fox has that super special sixth sense that tells them that they know you want to hear about Anna Nicole Smith. Then again they have no other basis of comparison because they cant do two simultaneous shows at once to compare it too. So they have to compare themselves to CNN and frankly, they aren't looking much better these days.

Let me break this story down for everyone (not to be to snobberish or anything):

  • A woman was born.
  • A woman became famous for showing her tits off in Playboy.
  • A woman got into money, drugs and fucking lots of men.
  • A woman got knocked up.
  • Several years and nearly a metric ton of human fat moved thru this woman.
  • A woman's son dies.
  • A woman's upset.
  • People are upset that she might be so upset she might get fat again and not show her tits anymore.
  • A woman turns to her money, drugs and sex with lots of men.
  • A woman is found dead in her apartment full of methadone and Trimspa supplements.
  • A woman has fucked SO many men no one knows who her baby's dad is.
  • A custody battle ensues.
  • A crying Judge decides who will take the corpse.

Now replace "A Woman" with "Anna Nicole Smith" and you have the WHOLE STORY!

She died 19 days ago.

Now ask yourself if you know how many men, women and children died in Iraq, Darfur, Afghanistan, Somalia, or half-a-dozen other places in the last 19 days. How many more tons of poisons have we pumped into our air and water in the last 19 days? How many more billions of dollars is our country into it for over the last 19 days? How many children were born? How many mad cows went sane? How many things got cloned and how many times did Condoleeza Rice NOT look pissed about something in the last 19 days?

If you cant answer any of those questions with a + or - accuracy or 5% then you are watching WAY TOO MUCH FOX FUCKING NEWS!!!


  1. who's condaleeza rice? she sounds nice.

  2. I just want to say.. this is probably the most important video you will see on youtube this year..

  3. That certainly has shown alot of light on the topic at hand. Kudos!

    And, if you ask me Condaleeza Rice sounds like a stripper's name. But that's just me.

  4. Oh man that video made me want to eat a big bowl of Lo-Mein.

    Seriously though, I couldn't agree more that the friggin Anna Nicole story has gotten way too much press. I mean, any person's death is sad and all but what did she contribute to the world? You'd think she was a saint or something. But we are our own worst enemy I guess - it wouldn't be all over the news if it didn't get ratings.

    There was a great sketch on SNL the other day with Wolf Blitzer doing a report. The crawler on the bottom of the screen kept saying crap about Anna Nicole. Eventually his head showed up on the crawler and the main window was replaced by the crawler text. Was pretty funny stuffs.

    He actually mentioned the sketch on his show...