Saturday, February 25, 2006

You want a Rant, well you got one

October 21 11:25 PM

Ranting is normally not a quick post to make and I hate leaving one half finished so I am really bad at finding the time to get one out.
But you want Rants - you get rants ...

1) People that send me Pro-Bush spam

If you know me or talk to me for longer than 3 seconds or see me drive by, you know I hate George Bush. I dont send you anti-Bush emails for no reason, so dont pass along these forwarded messages about how great he is or how bad someone is for not thinking he's great. Save them for the brain washed - I aint buyin'.

2) Stupid company slogans that treat you like an idiot
Smith Inc. "Doing everything we can do give you the best." - gee really? Do you really need to tell me that? I mean I sort of assume that if you are in business to provide me with a product or service you are going to attempt to do your best all the time, stop it with these lame ass slogans.
Or a semi-trailer that says "Always on time delivery". Oh yeah Mr. Slogan maker? How would you like to be the driver of the truck who is late with that plastered all over it. Or are you trying to say your company can time travel? Dont insult our common sense - people sometimes fail to deliver on promises or packages. Stop talking in absolutes when you cant back them up you are breeding a culture of people who expect to much and will complain until their unrealistic demands are acknowledged.

3) People who cant shut their mouths

No, not people who cant quit talking (although that's bad too) - I am talking about people that due to poor oral hygiene, poor genetics or some form a jaw muscle degradation are unable to fully close their mouth and walk around with it hanging open. Close your damn mouth. Make a habit of keeping it shut - no one wants to see inside your mouth.

4) Anyone who cant show you the new thing they bought without telling you how much it cost

I think everyone knows someone like this. Do us all a favor a slap them.

5) Honor Student bumper stickers

This bumper sticker tells me less about your "smart" child and more about you. You are a loser who puts WAY to much undue pressure on your child under the guise of "pride", when really it's simple idolizing and exercising of your child fetish while you vicariously live your life anew thru them and ultimately screw them up. Save your bumper for more meaningful stickers, like that one about tailgaters getting a booger flicked at them.

6) Apathy as a cop out

Oh I just "dont care enough about x to do anything". Shut up. Apathy has become a generational excuse for laziness. You dont have to CARE about everything, but find something and care enough about it to do something. Pitch into humanity for god sakes you lump.

7) The human condition of not correcting someone for fear of embarrassing them

This one sucks bad - I have it bad. My neighbors call me Chris. They have for the last 2 years, trouble is - I'm Cory and I am too afraid to embarrass them by pointing out I am not Chris. I am also a little worried that I might let them down about fulfilling some fantasy about living next to someone named Chris. And who am I to dash their dreams?

8) Forgetting the simple

Ever forget how old you are or what day of the week it is? I hate it when someone asks you something like what size shoes you wear or whether you stopped at a red light or not and you cant remember.

9) People who like Voltron for the wrong reasons

There was only one reason to like Voltron - because it was a bunch of robot lions that joined together to form a giant robot that fought with a sword. If you liked it for other reasons, such as, it's a good example of a certain genre or the quality writing of a certain episode - you are liking it for the wrong reasons.

10) Oprah

Nowadays when I think of Oprah I think of one of those paintings of a person and in the painting hanging on the wall is a painting of the exact same painting of the person with yet another painting on the wall of the whole thing that seems to go on forever. How many more things does this woman need to plaster her name and face on and then practically beg people to cheer her on about? Oprah - retire - it's over, you're done. The only people still cheering are the ones who are still hoping you will throw them free cash and the ones who's spinal cord doesnt attach fully to their brain.

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