Saturday, February 25, 2006

Tampon Commercials and Tivo

July 18 11:02 PM

I my Tivo BIG time. And one of the greatest things about it the ability to skip commercials. However some times you end up starting the program too soon (and even with Tivo's handy time shift thing to compensate) you see part of a commercial or two.

Well apparently the commercial that is ALWAYS on when this happens to me is that damn tampon commercial where the woman is in some yoga or dance class or some bullshit and she's doing the splits and does this thing where she falls back in the arms of another classmate while kicking her leg up above her head and smiling a smile that should be reserved for retarded people to use only.

I totally understand that to sell their product they want you to feel very confident in it. And one of the big things about wearing one would be the fear of it flying out - granted. I have been scientifically plotting the course of tampon commercials over the last 10 years. And according to my predictions, I believe very soon there will be a commericial where a woman puts a tampon in and gets into one of those NASA spin-around g-force things with her ass flying backwards just to prove that vaginal wall friction, some mild clotting and good old German design and British craftsmanship will keep that little wad of cotton firmly in your baby hole.

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