Originally posted on: December 17 10:12 AM
And various things that should be completely done away with.
- Credit Card readers on gas pumps that only take the card one direction
Gaspumps are HUGE, you're telling me that they cant figure out how to create a card reader that can read from either side of the card so you dont have to stick it in a certain direction while you are standing outside freezing and getting your brain cells burnt on gas fumes?
- Ambulances that say "Patient Transport" on them
What the hell is an ambulance if not a patient transport? Or do the ones that dont say that pick up sick people and just do laps with them and drop them off at home again?
- People who drive UNDER the speed limit
Now I know I speed like crazy and if that pisses you off, you only have to put up with me for a few seconds as I pass your ass. You jerks that drive under the speed limit piss people off like me and make us speed even more. Stop doing that! It's just as illegal and I think everyone will agree far more annoying.
- Signs in stores that say: "Smile you are on our surveillance camera"
What the fuck is this? Is this some reality show that I dont know about that I am all-of-the-sudden a star of just because I need a Snickers bar? This isnt 1803, cant we just all assume that EVERY business has cameras by now and take these fucking lame-wad signs down?
- Fast food that looks NOTHING like the picture
I feel I dont need to qualify my fast food employment background as I grew up with no place else to work except a farm or a fast food joint. So I totally understand how it's not a gourmet kitchen back there slopping together my triple meat, bacon, cheese-dipped artery clogger, but you would think that the thing you unwrap would look like the
picture at least 20% of the time. Half the time I dont know if I am eating a Big-Mac or an exploded rat anus.
- Subway's menu
I like to eat at places where I can pronounce everything on the menu and if I cant the dinner better cost $300 or come in a Taco Bell bag. So Subway, I ask you, what the hell is going on? Grilled Beef Chipilotelotteielo with oyster sauce? You guys dont even cut the bread the right way anymore. Oh and I love to sing your "Eat Fresh" slogan every time I bite into one of the crusty old buns that the staff leaves laying out all day. Everyone that thought Subway needed to change from how they did shit in 1997 can shampoo my crotch.
- People who point out things that are ironic
Listen assholes, irony is lost on the moronic and if something is ironic smart people will already know it. SO STOP POINTING IT OUT ALL THE TIME. WE GET IT ALREADY!
- Dennis Miller
I dont mean to get off on a rant here, but Dennis you havent been funny since ... well since you turned into a white, tight-ass, republican jerkoff. Your clever references and witty banter are lost nowadays, not in a flood of like-minded comics or the drone of your loving audience but in the groans and sighs of the people you used to speak to so brilliantly.
You're not hip, you're not a cool-cat ... hell you're not even a blip on the radar anymore - you're lucky to even show up on pathetic blog rant lists. And dont think you are all high and mighty and think you invented the "rant" - the word's been around long before you okay Mesmer.
- Lack of flying transportation
It's 2004 and I swear to god if I dont get a flying car or a hovering skate board soon I am TOTALLY going to snap. The only reason I plan on getting older is to see all the cool inventions, that I have dreamt about since Back to the Future 2. SO HURRY THE FUCK UP!
- George W. Bush
Now I could rail all day on this walking chromosome mishap and something tells me a great number of future posts will be filled with ramblings about his idiocy - for now I will simply say that he is an absolute moron. Never have I seen a man pander so much to people he cares nothing for to get what he wants. This man wouldnt know the meaning of
the word integrity if you made him eat a dictionary and thru some trick of his colon he could mentally absorb the "i" section. Unfortunately he was elected (this time, he was APPOINTED in 2000) and now we have to put up with him for another four years and our only solice is the fact that after this he will never be able to run for president again.