Saturday, February 25, 2006

My Bank

January 21 6:16 PM

I thought I would make a quick post - sorry been very busy lately.

My Bank:

My bank would open promptly every morning at 8am EST. That's every morning - Monday thru Saturday. My bank would close every day at 8pm EST.

My bank would have a teller for every window that was open and not one woman running around 5 different stations doing 5 different jobs.

My bank would ONLY be closed to recognize the following holidays: New Years Day, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day, all other days we would be open - open - open!

My bank would give out suckers that are made of more than 2 atomic particles and last for more than 3 licks (and none of those shitty suckers with the loop stick instead of the regular stick).

My bank would have 2 ATM's (one turned off that would only come on when the other one is broken). Both ATM's would deliver money to you in any increment you chose; 1's 5's 10's, whatever. My ATM's would also remember you according to your card and not prompt you to pick your language each freaking time (I know bi-lingual stations are in good use in places with a bi-lingual population, but where I live the people are barely "lingual" and the only people who identify themselves as "bi" anything get shunned and beat with pool cues).

That would be my bank. I know it would be the most popular bank on Earth. I think I would call it the "We Dont Have Our Heads Up Our Asses Bank of America" or WDHOHUPABA for short.

I look forward to serving everyone when my first branch opens.

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