Saturday, February 25, 2006

Here & Now

April 18 11:01 AM

Hello again. I am still alive and think it's been long enough since I have posted something to my blog.

It has been a very crazy time these past 30 days. For those of you who dont know, my father passed away on March 18th. The loss is still very real for me and sometimes more than I can bear. I dream about him every night in some form or fashion and at times I forget that it all happened and will want to pick up the phone and call him or go see him and talk to him about something. But with the love of friends and family and time I will make it thru.

I've also quit smoking completely. I knew when Dad first got really sick that it was time for me to stop and I wanted to, but no time just seemed right. Well I set a date and got the patches and as I type this I have been officially smoke free for 21 days 9 hours and 57 minutes.

It's amazing how much better I feel. I never thought I wouldnt get cancer or sick from
them at all - never was deluded about that. Just had NO idea how bad they made me feel on a daily basis. That and if anyone ever could have explained just how hard it is to stop I would have never have started. I still get a craving every once and awhile, but I just think of my Dad or keep my mind busy on something else and they pass. I dont want to sound like one of those non-smokers who always used to harp on me to quit, as I always thought they were full of shit because they never smoked before, but I smoked for 10 years and TRUST me it is much much better without them - try your best to quit now if you do smoke.

Take care everyone and hug someone you love today.

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